Breaking Free: 7 Things I Stopped Doing as a Former People Pleaser

In the hustle and bustle of life, it's easy to lose ourselves in the art of people-pleasing, seeking validation and approval from those around us. Almost a decade ago, I found myself resonating with characters like Carrie Bradshaw from 'Sex and the City,' a show that once held a special place in my heart. However, as the years passed, I discovered a shift within me. I no longer found solace in the world of designer shoes and cosmopolitans; I realized I had outgrown the narrative of people pleasing and codependency that the series subtly glorified.

Drawing inspiration from influential thought leaders, such as Dr. Wayne Dyer, Tony Robbins, Gabby Bernstein, Oprah, and Vishen Lakhiani, I embarked on a journey to break free from the chains of codependency

Here are 7 things I stopped doing as a former people pleaser:

1. Seeking External Validation: Carrie's relentless pursuit of external validation struck a chord with my former self. Today, I no longer seek approval to define my worth. I've learned that true validation comes from within.

"Your reputation is in the hands of others. That's what the reputation is. You can't control that. The only thing you can control is your character." - Dr. Wayne Dyer

I shifted my focus from seeking external validation to nurturing my character. Dr. Wayne Dyer's wisdom reminded me that true worth emanates from within.

2. Cluttering My Life with Inauthentic Relationships: 'Sex and the City' glamorized turbulent relationships, often rooted in codependency. I stopped cluttering my life with relationships that lacked authenticity and embraced connections that nurtured mutual growth.

Authenticity is the daily practice of letting go of who we think we're supposed to be and embracing who we are." - Brené Brown

I relinquished inauthentic relationships, adopting Brené Brown's mantra of embracing vulnerability. Authenticity became the cornerstone of my connections.

3. Playing the Victim Card: The series subtly perpetuates the victim mentality, and I decided to step out of that role. I took responsibility for my choices and circumstances, realizing that empowerment comes from accountability.The victim mentality lost its grip as I internalized the truth that I am resilient. I found strength in facing challenges head-on, rejecting the role of a victim.

4. Prioritizing Outer Happiness Over Inner Fulfillment: The glitz and glamour of the cityscape in 'Sex and the City' once seemed like the epitome of happiness. I shifted my focus from external pleasures to inner fulfillment, finding joy in authenticity and self-discovery

"Success without fulfillment is the ultimate failure." - Tony Robbins

The allure of outer happiness dimmed as I embraced Tony Robbins' insight—true success is intertwined with inner fulfillment.

5. Saying Yes When I Meant No: People-pleasers are notorious for saying yes when they really mean no. I started honoring my own needs and setting healthy boundaries, recognizing that it's okay to prioritize self-care."The only people mad at you for setting boundaries are the ones who were benefiting from you having none." - Dr. Henry Cloud

Saying no when I meant no became an act of self-love. Dr. Henry Cloud's perspective on boundaries guided me towards healthier relationships.

6. Ignoring Red Flags: 'Sex and the City' often romanticized ignoring red flags in relationships. I stopped turning a blind eye to warning signs and embraced discernment, ensuring that my choices align with my values. When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time." - Maya Angelou

Red flags were no longer overlooked. I heeded Maya Angelou's wisdom, recognizing the importance of discernment in cultivating meaningful connections.

7. Embracing Assertiveness with Kindness: The biggest transformation came in embracing assertiveness without sacrificing kindness. I learned to communicate my needs effectively, fostering healthy relationships built on mutual respect.

"You can be strong and true to yourself without being rude or loud." - Gabby Bernstein

Assertiveness merged seamlessly with kindness, echoing Gabby Bernstein's belief that strength and authenticity can coexist gracefully.

Drawing inspiration from luminaries like Oprah and Vishen Lakhiani, I learned that the journey from people pleaser to empowered authenticity is a continuous evolution—a commitment to self-discovery and growth.As I now look at the 'Sex and the City' narrative, I realised that as i stopped connecting to the disempowering values of Carrie and discovered the empowering journey of shedding people-pleasing tendencies - my life became a 'living mastery ' as Robin Sharma quotes. The series may have served as a mirror reflecting my past struggles as an absolute people pleaser but today, I stand empowered, assertive, and authentically myself, unburdened by the chains of codependency. Breaking free from these habits has allowed me to step into a life where authenticity, fulfillment, and healthy relationships take center stage. 🌟✨The wisdom of these influential figures like Dr Wayne Dyer, Tonny Robbins, Oprah guided me toward a life where authenticity reigns supreme—a life shaped by empowered choices and genuine connections.

Did you have a paradigm shift in Life? Or did you go through a 360 degree revolution in your outlook ?

Share in your Comments below