You are born to fly

I was sitting in my flight which was already late by a few hours. I opened a few magazines to read. The flight was still to take off.I always knew where I wanted to go." Better late than never " I thought. There was still some time to take off, and I hadnt still switched off my gadgets. The best thing I like to do on flights is to write. I feel that is the best time you get to write.

Suddenly my phone rang. "Who could it be now I thought? I had already spoken to my family and close friends and told them I would be on flight. My caller id spelt Kamini Malhotra. I answered the call hoping to hang up quickly before the crew asked me to switch off my gadgets. 

Hello I said. 

"Hello Anahita.. How are you?"

Although me and Kamini studied together in junior college we never really got along. I was still friends with her. We were friends may be for convenience but we were always together.I was always the ambitious one. Dreaming big ..thinking sky is the limit. Kamini was the more 'realistic ' one. She often found me crazy, stupid and immature. And I believed in her more than myself. Teenage years are the years when you believe in  everyone except yourself. Although I never had problem with her being realistic she had problems with me being the dreamer

Kamini got married to Vinod in a typical arranged marriage alliance  with a huge dowry and lavish wedding at 21 and was blessed with a twins a girl Jini and and boy Jesh at 24, probably when I was too busy writing white papers on Subprime crisis in business schools and later working like a donkey crunching numbers hoping for some visibility in my highly competitive bank. My dreams had no control. I kept chasing many dreams. Some came true but some shattered like a glass spreading blood from my heart. I always took dreams seriously. I had my own ups and downs with the men I dated and I realised I won't "settle "with anyone less passionate and wonderful than what I am.Last week after the kids' 7th birthday,Kamini had texted me on social media where in I told her about my trip to Paris for my seminar

I answered the call with the swipe on my iPhone.

"How are you? Where are you? "She said in a hyper tone

"I am fine, waiting for my flight to take off. "I said.

"Ohh still waiting to take off? Come on you are already late.  You were supposed to take off at 8 in the evening and  it is already 11."

"Yes " i said.

"I don't understand your logic. You could have taken this conference in Pune or Bangalore and booked a train. You could have reached now. Why on earth you want to go to Paris? " she was almost yelling

Its none of your business is what I wanted to say . But being the peacefu soul I didnt. Besides she was a good friend.

For the next 10 mins she kept arguing with me on why did i spend so much in the air ticket and accommodation and why was I such a francophile.  

I was already feeling drained to argue with her.after all I need not have to justify myself.she reminded me  all my failures and told me to be cautious. 

" your big dreams will land you in a rut. What if they don't like your seminar. You could have kept in some local place first before going international. You look at everything with rose glasses. I am astonished even after a decade how can you be still the same. fickle minded.. Immature.." I wasn't definitely fickle minded or stupid.. i was just too positive to think beyond issues

"Be practical. Life isnt as easy as it looks. And rather than doing that pay attention to getting married. Are you seeing guys? Please do that. The matrimonial sites...your biological clock..weight..grey hair...wrinkles...." I don't remember what she said later as my mind was too filled with what should I write and how should I speak in the conference in front of 150 french men and women who had spent many Euros to attend my workshop.

I took a breath andsaid "Well Kamini I appreciate your concern but these are my choices. And would be happy if you learn to respect them." Almost 15 years of friendship and I finally had the guts to be my own rescuer obviously infuriating her. Most expect us to behave in a particular way and lose it wen we dont.

 " i was trying to protect you Ana, "she said " rest is your wish. Your life is in trouble. Sort it before it is too late"

She hung up haphazardly leaving me thinking. Was I really wrong? Somewhere her words made me feel bad about myself. Was I frivolous too romantisized or too stupid? What if I am unable to speak in Paris. What if the french dont like me? What if I never land up with the man I am supposed to be with? What if I land up alone bankrupt and ugly old maiden? What if I never take off?

I took a deep breath. I took 5 more. I wiped the tiny tear off my eye hoping that that my expensive chanel mascara did not smudge. Then I sat and prayed. I prayed hard to give me the courage to follow my dreams and not back out...and then I thanked God for everything I had in life including my house, degree, parents, family and friends. Also my gadgets, car and all the food i eat. We always take these for granted.

"Ex cuse me Madaame"i heard a female voice talking to me." Ms Anahita Chopra?"  I Opened my eyes.

"Yes?" 

I said after I saw a the golden haired very beautiful airhostesss standing next to me. 

"Madame you have been upgraded to business class" 

"what? Who me? Really ?I said smiling ear to ear." My mood just changed. 

"Let me help you to your seat. " She opened my overhead shelf and took my black Gucci bag with a my initials AC on them.I entered the business class .. The space with much bigger better seats. As I relaxed on my seat she came back witha glads of Champagne "Here is your drink "she said as she handed over a champagne flute with a cherry .I was so happy in the feeling of being on the business class that I didnt care when the flight would take off and whether Paris would appreciate me and my seminar.

And you guesses it..Very soon my flight took off. When you are too busyenjoying and  appreciating what you already have, you just manifest.

After 8 odd hours I landed at the Charles De gaulle airport in the beautiful Paris. My workshop was superb and they loved me. Not just Paris,later my workshops in Berlin, Amsterdam,Brussels,Milan,Prague,Zurich,Vienna and London were appreciated by everyone and so was Bangalore,Pune, Hyderabad, Chennai, Kolkatta , Delhi and many more in Mumbai. 

I started getting many opportunities  all over the world especially in Europe over the next 3 years and I continued to love my job. Every time I saw the sun rise on the London or Berlin or Marseilles sky, I thanked the lord for this beautiful life.And as fate had it I met Arjun somewhere along the line when I was too busy looking for love.

The best part about me and Arjun was we could have everlasting long conversations and the topics never got exhausted. Even in our silences we were comfortable. We got along like house on fire. Very soon we got our own house and decided to tie the knot to live our life together..i often refer it as "living our life "than settling down. Why would you settle when you cAn live?

Kamini had stopped answering my calls or messages after that day. She did not even revert to my wedding invite nor did she come for my wedding. 

Well although I grew older with time, my biological clock didnt tick as badly as the scare and fuss created around it. My daughter was healthy when she was born and so was I.

Somedays, I think what if I had listened to Kamini and lived a life based on fear. What if I had not booked my Parisian flight? what if I had settled with some man just because I was getting older? What if  i got scared?  I would have never took off then:-)

My advice to everyone.. Go board your plane..dont get dissuaded by the flight delays or the time your flight spends on runway or..the Kamini's in your life putting their fears in your head  

You will take off.. You are born to fly